Episode 31: War By Other Means

You know what’s in a big book? LOTS OF ADVENTURE!

Hobb the Wise sees a chance to score a win, and sneaks out for some fun in a basement–but Dean Spoon gets the last laugh. Hobb meets his counterparts from the geopolitical neighborhood. Your host digs deep into the archives for some new-old music.

Episode 30: Balloons Both Large and Small

Why should you buy The Bright Path? It’s like War and Peace but with better illustrations and more jokes. Also goblins, and cannons, and quantum physics.

Rufus and company are trapped underground by the White Knights. With nothing better to do, Rufus decides to go exploring, and picks the most hazardous method possible. Daven gets a better deal, and Gog the Hammer gets bonus pay. Rufus ends up with his face in a most unexpected location.

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Episode 29: The Charge of the Washer-Women

You should get a big, heavy book! “Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn’t work you can always hit them with it.” -Boris ‘The Blade’

The moment to free the wives and daughters of Hog Hurst finally arrives. What will be the cost?

Bonus track! Appearing in today’s episode, please enjoy “War in Heaven, Part 3” from Paradise Lost. Featuring vocal performances by Danielle Erin Rhodes, Victoria Dicce, Kevin T. Collins, Martin Sola, and Michael Marcotte.

Episode 28: Convincing and Unconvincing Lies

Discover how much fun it is to hold a big book in your hands! It will make you look super intellectual.

Merrily learns the secret to operating a grappling hook crossbow, and also that she is rubbish at lying. Cyrus might be afflicted with feelings. Mrs. Fry is revealed as a rank amateur. Merrily reaches the limits of her abilities, and discovers how to go beyond them.

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Episode 27: The Abjuration of Myths

Fear not!  Through the transmutation of technology, these oral words may be reified in the palm of your hand through this fabulous paperback brick.

Sir Richard and his men are disabused of certain firmly held beliefs concerning Giant-Men. The brave knight reaches into Uelland’s dubious past for inspiration. A great stretch of deprivation passes with barely a sentence. Sir Richard learns who his friends are, and approximates the location of a Giant-Man’s kidneys.

Oops! My first late episode.

So sorry for the late delivery of Episode 26, everybody.  I normally queue these things up the weekend before release, because I get super busy during the week and don’t have time to attend to it properly.  For this episode, I made a mistake and set the date one week in advance by accident.  Aaaand… didn’t notice it until now.

Also, apparently my website crashed?  Weird.  Anyway.  All is well now, and the episode is in your podcatcher.

To make up for it, here is a picture of the cat.

Meow. The author is a dummy.

Episode 25: Enhanced Interrogation Methods

You can hold it in your hands while you read! It’s big and meaty.

Between them, Cyrus and Veridia commit all seven deadly sins in the space of an hour. Rolly realizes what he’ll miss the most about Veridia. Wally’s Woodsmen find the path, and the mercenaries follow it. The White Knights have an unexpected ally.

Episode 24: The Council of Longbean’s Farm

Need a last-minute Hanukkah gift? I’m at your service in e-book and paperback…

Deep in the frontier forest, King Simon’s subjects behold the power of the backbeat. Jonathan learns how to lie just in time to save his life. Simon, The Gizzard, and Sheria link up with the human resistance in Hog Hurst, only to find that they’re not the only ones with an interest in events in the outcome. Grygory the Pious discovers that his new allies have some rough edges, but struggles to carry on the fight for hearts and minds. The Council of Longbean’s Farm doesn’t come off quite the way anyone imagined.

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Bonus track: Your narrator performing “Sin and Death” from Paradise Lost: The Musical.

Episode 23: Variations on the Theme of Misery

The good citizens of Uellodon experience black comedy and just regular old blackness. En route from the Finery Valley to Hog Hurst, Captain Whiffle and his band of mercenaries encounter festively decorated former comrades.